Monday, July 25, 2011

Conclusion:

While there are lots of things which can cause stress, they do not affect all people the same. One event may cause one person to totally break down; while the same event is taken in stride by someone else. The events in and of themselves do not cause our internal state of stress, it is the how we process what has happened, our skills in dealing with what has happened, our interpretation of what has happened, plus our own resiliency and self-efficacy.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

15 Stand in Holy Places:

While many things are outside our control, where we stand is almost always within our control. Choosing to stand in the midst of evil, or dangerously close to the edge, is a choice. Standing in Holy Places is always the best, most peaceful, choice.
Standing in Holy Places can be situationaly dependent.  For example, generally speaking, on Sunday, it is in church and in the home, or in the home of someone you are comforting, teaching, and lifting.  It can also be in a hospital room, both as a visitor and a health care provider.

14. Believe Christ:

14. Believe Christ, live the commandments, and teach your children to do the same. It is my testimony that this really is where you will find “safety and peace.” (Children’s Songbook, page 146; Hymns, number 303)
Many people say they believe in Jesus Christ; but make limited or not attempts to learn and do what He says. To Believe Christ is to believe that His really is a better way, though we may not see it at the time.  To Believe Christ is to readjust our vision from the here and now to the eternities.


Believing Christ

"To have faith in Jesus Christ, we must learn to believe his promise of eternal life."  To read the article in the Ensign: http://lds.org/ensign/1992/04/believing-christ?lang=eng&query=%22believe+Christ%22

“It is not easy to be at peace in today’s troubled world. Necessarily peace is a personal acquisition. … It can be attained only through maintaining constantly a repentant attitude, seeking forgiveness of sins both large and small, and thus coming ever closer to God.”
Spencer W. Kimball  goodreads

13. Prayer:

13. Prayer: Teach by word and example that we have a loving Father in Heaven who we can turn to in times of trials, and ease. Trials because He can and will help, Ease, for direction, practice, and the building of a close relationship.
While prayers are not always answered when and in the way we would like, having faith in a loving Father in Heaven and knowing that He will watch over and provide for us according to our needs as He sees them is a great comfort.



Types of prayer, optimism, and well-being of middle-aged and older patients undergoing open-heart surgery.
"Abstract:
To specify the psychological mechanism through which faith factors may influence health-related well-being, we followed a sample of middle-aged and older patients for their experiences associated with open-heart surgery. Structural equation modeling analysis in an earlier report demonstrated a parallel-pathway explanatory model in which preoperative optimism and acute stress response functioned as positive and negative mediators, respectively, of the influence of using prayer for coping. This current analysis addresses an additional question: Which styles or types of prayer usage may have potential protection in postoperative outcomes? Three interviews were conducted with 295 patients (age 62±). Items from established instruments were used to assess postoperative mental health, optimism, acute stress, prayer coping, and chronic conditions. Structural equation modeling was used to test a theoretical conceptual model. The major finding was unexpected. Of the four major types, only the use of "petitionary" prayer was related to better postoperative well-being, mediated through optimism, whereas "conversational" prayer was associated with poor outcomes, mediated through acute stress. Optimism appeared to counterbalance this undesirable stress effect. Interpretations were sought on the basis of the literature and theories, especially those that have linked "petitionary" prayer with disadvantaged populations. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)"
http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2007-19918-011


Lifetime Trauma, Prayer, and Psychological Distress In Late Life
"Abstract:
The purpose of this study is to see whether prayer helps older people cope more effectively with the adverse effects of lifetime trauma. Data from a nationwide survey of older adults reveal that the size of the relationship between traumatic events and depressive symptoms is reduced for older people who believe that only God knows when it is best to answer a prayer, and when they believe that only God knows the best way to answer it. The findings further reveal that these beliefs about prayer outcomes are especially likely to offset the effects of traumatic events that arose during childhood."

Intercessory Prayer: A Delicate Celestial Orchestration Between Spiritual and Physical Worlds:  The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine

http://www.liebertonline.com/doi/abs/10.1089/acm.2007.0013

Intercessory prayer as an intervention for stress in critically-ill neonates
"Abstract: The purposes of this study were to investigate the effects of Christian intercessory prayer (CIP) on (a) physiological and behavioral stress levels and (b) physical outcomes of critically ill, extremely preterm (PT) neonates during the first four weeks of life. Outcome measures included salivary cortisol, behavioral state and incidence of acute complications (e.g. long term ventilation or death) during the first four weeks of life. This study used a blinded, randomized, 2-group, pre-test/post-test design and was conducted in a large Level III Neonatal ICU in a university teaching hospital on the Texas Gulf Coast. Forty-two preterm neonates between 26 to 32 weeks completed gestational age were admitted to the study after obtaining appropriate parental consent. The intervention utilized Christian intercessors that prayed daily for healing for infants randomized to the prayer group. Descriptive statistics, t-tests and Chi Square were used to describe the sample and to test the hypotheses. Results showed that while there was no statistical significance between the groups for any outcome measures, outcomes were noted for salivary cortisol, behavioral state and acute complications for the prayer group. Therefore it can be tentatively concluded that CIP could possibly improve stress, behavioral levels and physiological outcomes of the preterm infant."
http://gradworks.umi.com/32/34/3234211.html

12. Faith:

12. Faith: Help your children develop faith and let them see faith exercised in your own life. Help them build a foundation of faith through; a. love (Gal. 5:6), b. truth, c. works (James 2:26), and d. humility (Moro 7:39, Ether 12:27, Alma 37:33). Elder Bruce R. McConkie wrote in Mormon Doctrine (p.262); “Faith and truth cannot be separated: if there is to be faith, saving faith, faith unto life and salvation, faith that leads to the celestial world, there must first be truth.” (see also Alma 32:21) “You will be asked to exercise faith in truths you have not yet come to prove through your own experience or through the sacred witness of the Holy Ghost. Enduring happiness is rooted in unchangeable truth lived in faith.” (Richard G. Scott: To Acquire Knowledge and the Strength to Use It Wisely: Ensign June 2002.)

Work is an absolute requirement of faith. Few things cause or exacerbate stress more than inaction when action is needed. If something needs to be done. Do it. Do not procrastinate. D & C 88: 124 “Cease to be idle; cease to be unclean; cease to find fault one with another; cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated.”
Remember: “The Good is the Greatest Enemy of the Best.” Do what needs doing, when it needs doing. If you are unsure of a direction. Study it out, discuss with people you trust, come up with a plan and take it to your Father in Heaven. When you have direction, “Do IT”!

Religion, Stress, and Mental Health in Adolescence: Findings From ADD Health
"A growing body of multidisciplinary research documents associations between religious involvement and mental health outcomes, yet the causal mechanisms linking them are not well understood.  Ellison and his colleagues (2001) tested a series of hypotheses derived from the life stess paradigm which linked religious involvement to adult well=being and distress.  In the present study those proposed mechanisms are tested in a population of adolescents, a particularly understudied group in religious research. Analysis of data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (Add Health) reveals that religious involvement works to prevent the occurrence of school and health stressors, which reduces depression. For sucide ideation, religious involvement works to mobilize social resources.  Implications for theory and research are discussed."
http://www.jstor.org/pss/3512165

The influence of religiosity on positive and negative outcomes associated with stress among college students

"Abstract:
This study presents the impact of religious coping on promoting positive outcomes and minimizing negative outcomes associated with stress among college students. Analyses are based on 742 college students at a large, church-sponsored school in the Western United States who completed a cross-sectional survey. Religiosity had a beneficial influence on both positive and negative outcomes associated with stress among college students. Among the negative outcomes associated with stress, religiosity had the greatest influence on lowering feelings of anger when things happen outside of one's control or minimizing upset feelings because of an unexpected event. Among the positive outcomes associated with stress, religiosity had the greatest effect on promoting feelings of confidence in one's ability to handle personal problems. Thus, higher levels of religiosity have the potential to prevent negative outcomes but promote positive outcomes associated with stress."
http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/routledg/cmhr/2009/00000012/00000005/art00006

Happily Ever After?: Religion, Marital Status, Gender and Relationship Quality in Urban Families
"Abstract:
Researchers have found that religious participation is correlated with marital satisfaction. Less is known about whether religion also benefits participants in nonmarital, intimate relationships or whether religious effects on relationships vary by gender. Using data from the first three waves of the Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study, we find that religious participation by fathers, irrespective of marital status, is consistently associated with better relationships among new parents in urban America; however, mothers' participation is not related to relationship quality. These results suggest that religious effects vary more by gender than by marital status. We conclude that men's investments in relationships appear to depend more on the institutional contexts of those relationships, such as participation in formal religion."
http://muse.jhu.edu/journals/sof/summary/v086/86.3.wolfinger.html

Fewer Rainy Days for Those Who Praise: A Psychological Examination of Religion and Depression
"Abstract
Current research indicates paucity in studying the intersection between specific facets of religion and psychological functioning. The current study addresses symptoms commonly manifested in university students adjusting to new expectations. The study addresses the interface between religion and mental health, particularly depression, which is a complex and multifaceted issue. The foundation of the current research was the Dollahite and Marks (2009) model which identified religion as a meta-variable based on three identified dimensions: beliefs, practices, and faith community. The purpose of the current study is to explore the complex relationships between religion, stress, and depression. The hypotheses predict (1) an inverse relationship between religion and depression, (2) a direct relationship between stress and depression, and (3) a buffering effect of religion on the relationship between stress and depression. In light of the rising needs in research, these predictions were based on a look at specific facets of religion. The participants provided survey data comprised of 212 psychology students in a convenience sample. Descriptive statistics and multiple regression analyses were used to analyze the data. The results indicated that females show higher levels of depression than do males and that social support is negatively related to depression. The current research showed significant findings in (1) the negative relationship between spiritual beliefs and depression, (2) the positive relationship between stress and depression, (3) the buffering impact of religious practices and faith community involvement as these variables interact with stress in relation to depression. The findings contributed to the existing body of research in that the negative relationship between beliefs and depression supported the Marks (2006) research. The positive relationship between stress and depression supported the research of Lee (2007) and the meta-analysis of Liu and Alloy (2010). Finally, the buffering effects of religious practices and faith community involvement on the relationship between stress and depression contributed to the complex findings of the research of Strawbridge, Shema, Cohen, Roberts, & Kaplan (1998). Above all, this study showed the dire need for future studies on religion and pathology and well-being using groundwork models such as the Dollahite and Marks (2009) conceptual model."
http://etd.lsu.edu/docs/available/etd-06272011-152252/

Religious coping and psychological adjustment to stress: A meta-analysis

Abstract

"A growing body of literature suggests that people often turn to religion when coping with stressful events. However, studies on the efficacy of religious coping for people dealing with stressful situations have yielded mixed results. No published studies to date have attempted to quantitatively synthesize the research on religious coping and psychological adjustment to stress. The purpose of the current study was to synthesize the research on situation-specific religious coping methods and quantitatively determine their efficacy for people dealing with stressful situations. A meta-analysis of 49 relevant studies with a total of 105 effect sizes was conducted in order to quantitatively examine the relationship between religious coping and psychological adjustment to stress. Four types of relationships were investigated: positive religious coping with positive psychological adjustment, positive religious coping with negative psychological adjustment, negative religious coping with positive psychological adjustment, and negative religious coping with negative psychological adjustment. The results of the study generally supported the hypotheses that positive and negative forms of religious coping are related to positive and negative psychological adjustment to stress, respectively. Implications of the findings and their limitations are discussed. © 2004 Wiley Periodicals, Inc. J Clin Psychol."
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jclp.20049/abstract

11: Forgiveness and letting go:

Forgiveness and letting go: Carrying around grudges, bitterness, and anger is stressful and can take a lot of energy. When under stress (and when not) forgive quickly. You just don’t have the extra energy to carry around the additional burden. Many years ago while working with adults I taught a repeating workshop. During part of the workshop we talked about letting go. My partner would be with the group and I would come in late with a backpack. I would talk about how much pain I was in and how much my back hurt. Invariably someone would have the common sense to suggest I remove what was obviously a very heavy pack. At first I would ignore them; but after a while I would acknowledge their comments and concerns, and remove the pack. However; I would continue to carry this bulky and heavy back pack in my arms while opening it and one by one removing very large rocks, talking about each one. They all represented stressful events or relationships in my life. One by one, after talking about each for a while, I would allow the rock to land on the table with a thud.I remember one woman picking up a large rock while I wasn’t looking, wrapping it in tissue, and putting it into her purse. There was something she wasn’t ready to let go of and now this rock represented that burden.
Now this is something I would always explain. Some situations and events are serious enough that they need to be reported and you need to take appropriate precautions. You can forgive and let go; but at the same time, love yourself enough to never allow yourself, your children, or anyone else for that matter, to be put in the same dangerous situation again. You can let go of the hate and burdens associated with what occurred and still report to the proper authorities. Perhaps this will lead to the person getting help that s/he needs; but more importantly your report and your refusal to allow it to happen to you again, may save you, your children, or someone else.
(One often overlooked but key principle of forgiveness is not judging in the first place. While we must judge the safety of situation and even people, we seldom really know or understand their motivation and/or their own struggles.
Many years ago while a therapist in a small town, I used to tell my children that there were many people that I knew, was friendly with, and genuinely liked; however, that did not mean that they were safe. I did not want my children to assume that just because I knew and was kind to someone that they were safe for my children to be around on their own.)


The last article posted under Gratitude also spoke of the importance of forgiveness in wellbeing. The following articles provide additional information.
Meditation Lowers Stress and Supports Forgiveness Among College Students: A Randomized Controlled Trial
"Abstract:
Objective and Participants: The authors evaluated the effects on stress, rumination, forgiveness, and hope of two 8-week, 90-min/wk training programs for college undergraduates in meditation-based stress-management tools. Methods: After a pretest, the authors randomly allocated college undergraduates to training in mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR; n = 15), Easwaran's Eight-Point Program (EPP; n = 14), or wait-list control (n = 15). The authors gathered pretest, posttest, and 8-week follow-up data on self-report outcome measures. Results: The authors observed no post-treatment differences between MBSR and EPP or between posttest and 8-week follow-up (p > .10). Compared with controls, treated participants (n = 29) demonstrated significant benefits for stress (p < .05, Cohen's d = -.45) and forgiveness (p < .05, d = .34) and marginal benefits for rumination (p < .10, d = -.34). Conclusions: Evidence suggests that meditation-based stress-management practices reduce stress and enhance forgiveness among college undergraduates. Such programs merit further study as potential health-promotion tools for college populations."
http://heldref-publications.metapress.com/app/home/contribution.asp?referrer=parent&backto=issue,14,17;journal,17,81;linkingpublicationresults,1:119928,1

The effects of forgiveness therapy on depression, anxiety, and posttraumatic stress for women after spousal emotional abuse.
"Abstract
Emotionally abused women experience negative psychological outcomes long after the abusive spousal relationship has ended. This study compares forgiveness therapy (FT) with an alternative treatment (AT; anger validation, assertiveness, interpersonal skill building) for emotionally abused women who had been permanently separated for 2 or more years (M = 5.00 years, SD = 2.61; n = 10 per group). Participants, who were matched, yoked, and randomized to treatment group, met individually with the intervener. Mean intervention time was 7.95 months (SD = 2.61). The relative efficacy of FT and AT was assessed at p < .05. Participants in FT experienced significantly greater improvement than AT participants in depression, trait anxiety, posttraumatic stress symptoms, self-esteem, forgiveness, environmental mastery, and finding meaning in suffering, with gains maintained at follow-up (M = 8.35 months, SD = 1.53). FT has implications for the long-term recovery of postrelationship emotionally abused women. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)"
http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/ccp/74/5/920/

Process-Based Forgiveness Interventions: A Meta-Analytic Review

"Abstract:
Objective: To investigate the impact of forgiveness interventions designed to help individuals who have suffered because of betrayals, offenses, or victimization. Forgiveness is believed to be a mechanism through which individuals can experience increases in hope and positive emotions and relief from negative emotions, cognitions, and behaviors. Method: Fourteen published reports of process-based forgiveness interventions that included a comparison group are meta-analyzed. Results/Conclusions: Samples that received forgiveness interventions forgave more (effect size [ES] = .82) and enjoyed increased positive affect (ES = .81) and self-esteem (ES = .60) and less negative affect (ES = .54). Such gains were largely maintained at follow-up periods. Individually delivered programs are superior to group delivery, and some forgiveness programs are superior to others. Further moderators are discussed."
http://rsw.sagepub.com/content/18/5/465.short

Effects of a group forgiveness intervention on forgiveness, perceived stress, and trait-anger

"Abstract: The goal of this study was to evaluate the effects of a 6-week forgiveness intervention on three outcomes: (a) offense-specific forgiveness, (b) forgiveness-likelihood in new situations, and (c) health-related psychosocial variables, such as perceived stress and trait-anger. Participants were 259 adults who had experienced a hurtful interpersonal transgression from which they still felt negative consequences. They were randomized to a forgiveness-training program or a no-treatment control group. The intervention reduced negative thoughts and feelings about the target transgression 2 to 3 times more effectively than the control condition, and it produced significantly greater increases in positive thoughts and feelings toward the transgressor. Significant treatment effects were also found for forgiveness self-efficacy, forgiveness generalized to new situations, perceived stress, and trait-anger. © 2006 Wiley Periodicals, Inc. J Clin Psychol 62: 715–733, 2006."

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jclp.20264/abstract

10. Gratitude:

10. Gratitude: Maintain and show an attitude of gratitude and teach your children to do the same. (see Standing for Something, 10 Neglected Virtues That Will Heal Our Hearts and Homes. Chapter 8, Gratitude: A Sign of Maturity. President Gordon B. Hinckley)




Spending more time thinking about what you’ve got, is less stressful than spending a lot of time worrying about what you don’t.
While we often speak of “having gratitude” it is really more about being something than having something. In his April 2011 conference talk: “As Many as I Love, I Rebuke and Chasten”
http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/as-many-as-i-love-i-rebuke-and-chasten?lang=eng
Elder D. Todd Kristofferson (quoting Elder Dallin H. Oaks) spoke of the importance of becoming. “The Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts—what we have done. It is an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become. It is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions. The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become.” While it is important to have gratitude, it is more important to “be” grateful. To have a grateful heart and to become one of the meak of the earth.
Many years ago while working with adults with disabilities one of the women I worked with who, like many others, had significant and chronic physical problems. When she would visit with me and I would ask how she was doing, she would often say that ‘her little finger was doing great.’ She would almost always focus on what was going well in spite of what was going wrong. This doesn’t mean that she buried her head in the sand and neglected doing what she could do for the rest of her; but that her focus was on what was going well. This is an attitude shared by many famous artists and other successful people who accomplish a great deal not in spite of what is going wrong; but because of what is going right.


The role of gratitude in the development of social support, stress, and depression: Two longitudinal studies
"Abstract
In two longitudinal studies, the authors examined the direction of the relationships between trait gratitude, perceived social support, stress, and depression during a life transition. Both studies used a full cross-lagged panel design, with participants completing all measures at the start and end of their first semester at college. Structural equation modeling was used to compare models of direct, reverse, and reciprocal models of directionality. Both studies supported a direct model whereby gratitude led to higher levels of perceived social support, and lower levels of stress and depression. In contrast, no variable led to gratitude, and most models of mediation were discounted. Study 2 additionally showed that gratitude leads to the other variables independently of the Big Five factors of personality. Overall gratitude seems to directly foster social support, and to protect people from stress and depression, which has implications for clinical interventions."
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0092656607001286

Gratitude when it is needed most: Social functions of gratitude in women with
metastatic breast cancer.
"Abstract: Theory and evidence suggest that everyday positive emotions may be potent factors in resilience during periods of chronic stress, yet the body of evidence is scant. Even less research focuses on the adaptive functions of specific positive emotions in this critical context. In the current research, 54 women with metastatic breast cancer provided information about their emotional responses to benefits received to test hypotheses regarding the social functions of gratitude. One set of analyses provide support for the hypothesized role of ego-transcendence in feeling gratitude upon receipt of a benefit from another person. As predicted, in a second set of analyses, grateful responding to received benefits predicted an increase in perceived social support over three months only for women low in ambivalence over emotional expression. These findings add to evidence regarding the social causes and consequences of gratitude, supporting a view of gratitude as an other-focused positive emotion that functions to promote high-quality relationships. Discussion focuses on the chronically stressful context as an important testing ground for theory on gratitude and other positive emotions. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2011 APA, all rights reserved)"
http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2011-12880-001/

WHY GRATITUDE ENHANCES WELL BEING: WHAT WE KNOW, WHAT WE NEED TO KNOW
http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=JYj4KStQjhIC&oi=fnd&pg=PA248&dq=gratitude+stress&ots=kVfNor3AC0&sig=1WjhlCX7j-TGexBDGmenzf8aQKo#v=onepage&q=gratitude%20stress&f=false

Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration

 "Abstract

This paper presents a new model of gratitude incorporating not only the gratitude that arises following help from others but also a habitual focusing on and appreciating the positive aspects of life", incorporating not only the gratitude that arises following help from others, but also a habitual focusing on and appreciating the positive aspects of life. Research into individual differences in gratitude and well-being is reviewed, including gratitude and psychopathology, personality, relationships, health, subjective and eudemonic well-being, and humanistically orientated functioning. Gratitude is strongly related to well-being, however defined, and this link may be unique and causal. Interventions to clinically increase gratitude are critically reviewed, and concluded to be promising, although the positive psychology literature may have neglected current limitations, and a distinct research strategy is suggested. Finally, mechanisms whereby gratitude may relate to well-being are discussed, including schematic biases, coping, positive affect, and broaden-and-build principles. Gratitude is relevant to clinical psychology due to (a) strong explanatory power in understanding well-being, and (b) the potential of improving well-being through fostering gratitude with simple exercises."
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272735810000450

Forgiveness, Gratitude, and Well-Being: The Mediating Role of Affect and Beliefs

"Abstract
Forgiveness and gratitude are positive psychological characteristics that are connected to well-being. This study examined these connections in an understudied population of psychotherapy outpatients and examined the extent to which affect and beliefs mediated these relationships. Participants were 72 outpatients who completed a battery of assessments as part of a standard intake protocol. Results showed that forgiveness and gratitude were both positively and strongly associated with well-being and largely, though not completely, mediated by affect and belief. Forgiveness and gratitude may have an important place in the positive psychologist’s repertoire of well-being enhancing techniques and exercises in general, and may be particularly powerful with a clinical psychotherapy population."

9. Music:

9. Music: Using music for relaxation may not be as easy as you might think.
Have you ever driven down a highway at 65 or 75 mph then turned into a town where the speed limit abruptly changed to 25 mph? When I’m driving, the abrupt change is more irritating than relaxing until I can mentally and physically adjust to the slower speed. It’s the same with music. Music is individual; but there are some general rules. In order to help you relax it must be something physically relaxing that you enjoy. Many years ago as a children’s therapist I worked with a young man who told me he relaxed to music by a particular band. Instead of arguing with him I suggested we check it out and asked that he bring his music in to our next session. I had some very basic bio-feedback equipment (galvanic skin response or GSR and finger temperature) that would measure his physiology and tell us if his body was relaxing or tensing. I hooked him up and turned on the music. This particular music is irritating and grating to me, so I left the room. After a while I returned and we looked at his measured physical results together. It was obvious to both of us that this music did not help him relax (nor anyone for that matter).
For people who enjoy it, slow baroque music (i.e. Pachelbel's Canon) is wonderfully and deeply relaxing; however, if I was especially stressed, to sit down and listen to slow baroque music would actually increase my anxiety instead of reduce it. It would be like driving on a freeway at 75 mph then immediately turning onto a road at 25. It’s better if I relax a little first. For example, by taking a walk, deep breathing, listening to semi relaxing music, which for me could include: folk, old country music, or some children’s songs. More relaxing music is compatible with deep slow breathing. More relaxing music is conducive to meditating; less relaxing music almost forces us to move. More relaxing music can help us be open to the whisperings of the spirit.


For additonal resources see: http://responsiblepracticalparenting.blogspot.com/2010/08/stress-helping-your-children-and-you.html

(While most people do not have even simple biofeedback equiptment there is one easy to use and affordable piece which will help you know if what you are listening to is helping.  When the body is stressed, more blood flows to the large muscle groups [fight or flight] so you can run or fight if needed.  When this happens, blood leaves the brain and extremities.  This causes less oxygen to flow to the brain [causing us to not think as clearly or remember as well] and less to the extremities [cold fingers].  A simple finger temperature system can help.  You may be able to purchase something like this in a local electronics store...
or here:
Basically, your fingers warming is associated with relaxation.)



Emotional foundations of music as a non-pharmacological pain management tool in modern medicine
"Abstract This paper reviews the use of music as an adjuvant to the control of pain, especially in medical procedures. For instance, surgery causes stress and anxiety that exacerbates the experience of pain. Self-report of and physiological measures on post-surgical patients indicate that music therapy or music stimulation reduces the perception of pain, both alone as well as part of a multimodal pain management program, can reduce the need for pharmaceutical interventions. However, multimodal pain therapy, including non-pharmacological interventions after surgery, is still rare in medical practice. We summarize how music can enhance medical therapies and can be used as an adjuvant with other pain-management programs to increase the effectiveness of those therapies. As summarized, we currently know that musical pieces chosen by the patient are commonly, but not always, more effective than pieces chosen by another person. Further research should focus both on finding the specific indications and contra-indications of music therapy and on the biological and neurological pathways responsible for those findings (related evidence has implicated brain opioid and oxytocin mechanisms in affective changes evoked by music). In turn, these findings will allow medical investigators and practitioners to design guidelines and reliable, standardized applications for this promising method of pain management in modern medicine."
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763411001151

Music therapy as an adjunctive treatment in the management of stress for patients being weaned from mechanical ventilation.

"Abstract
This project investigated music therapy (MT) in managing anxiety associated with weaning from mechanical ventilation. The use of sedation to treat anxiety during weaning is problematic because side effects (e.g., respiratory depression) are precisely the symptoms that cause the weaning process to be interrupted and consequently prolonged. Study goals were to determine the feasibility of incorporating MT into the weaning process and to evaluate the efficacy of the intervention, based on levels of anxiety, Days to Wean (DTW), and patient/nurse satisfaction. Adult patients received multiple MT sessions per week while undergoing weaning trials from mechanical ventilation. Feasibility was determined by successful enrollment in the study and nurse survey. Efficacy was evaluated through anxiety, as measured by heart rate, respiratory rate, and patient/nurse survey; DTW; and patient/nurse satisfaction. Nurse surveys reported that MT was successfully incorporated into the milieu and 61 subjects were enrolled. Significant differences in heart rate and respiratory rate were found from the beginning to the end of MT sessions (p < .05 and p < .0001, respectively), indicating a more relaxed state. No significant difference in mean DTW was found between study and control subjects. Patient/nurse satisfaction was high. Music therapy can be used successfully to treat anxiety associated with weaning from mechanical ventilation. Limitations and suggestions for further research are discussed."
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21275332 

Effects of Music on Women's Stress, Anxiety and Sleep Quality during Pregnancy
"21st INRC [Evidence-Based Practice Presentation] Background: Few studies have developed and tested non-pharmacological options for sleep-disturbed pregnant women, including music therapy. Aims and objectives: This Taiwan study investigated what effect listening to pre-selected, relaxing music on a self-regulated basis at home, had on the perceived stress, state anxiety and sleep quality of sleep-disturbed pregnant women. Design: A randomized clinical trial. Methods. One hundred and twenty-one pregnant women with sleep disorder (PSQI score > 5) were randomly assigned to music therapy (nüü61) and control (nüü60) groups. The music therapy group received two weeks of music intervention. The control group received only general prenatal care. The Pittsburgh Sleep Quality Index (PSQI), Perceived Stress Scale (PSS), and State Scale of the State-Trait Anxiety Inventory (S-STAI) were used to measure outcomes. Results: No significant differences were identified between groups for demographic characteristics. The PSQI, PSS, and S-STAI scores for these two groups prior to music intervention were similar. An ANCOVA test with the pretest scores as the control revealed that the changes in PSQI, PSS, and S-STAI after two weeks were significantly decreased in the experimental group compared with the control group. The results also revealed a music preference for lullabies, followed by classical music and crystal baby music. Conclusions: This study provides evidence that two-week music listening can reduce stress, anxiety and thereby benefit a better sleep quality for sleep-disturbed pregnant women. Most participant women chose music which might represent wanting to have a prenatal influences or/and interaction with their unborn child. Relevance to clinical practice: Music is an effective mind-body intervention. The value of music to the family and clinical staff yielded sufficient significance to justify its use as a regular component of prepared childbirth education."
http://www.nursinglibrary.org/Portal/main.aspx?pageid=4024&pid=24693

Music Listening : Its Effects in Creating a Healing Environment
"Résumé / Abstract
Older adults face challenges in function, cognition, and isolation as they age. Nurses are responsible for providing a healing environment to promote health and well-being. Music listening is an intervention that could be used to facilitate a healing environment. This article provides examples of evidence that music can improve the healing environment for older adults, both physiologically and psychologically. Music can connect individuals with their emotions and bring about a sense of self-awareness that improves the quality of life for older adults. Music is a safe, inexpensive, and easy-to-use intervention that nurses can implement independently to help older adults cope with pain, acute confusion, and functional deficits. Examples of ways nurses can use music to provide a healing environment are also included."
http://cat.inist.fr/?aModele=afficheN&cpsidt=20715125

8. Meditation:

8. Meditation: We frequently hear about the benefits of meditation. Usually this refers to deep thought at times accompanied by study and prayer. There is another type of meditation very useful for relieving stress. It is called Mindfulness Meditation. There are three essential components: a. Enjoy the activity, like it was new. b. Focus completely on the activity. c. Loose track of time.
This is unique to the individual and usually changes over time. For some, washing dishes, taking a bath, riding a dirt bike, fishing, playing with a friend or pet, or taking a walk may meet the required components. For me, gardening, reading, canoeing, and an interesting conversation, can help me create this type of relaxation. Children often meet the requirements of mindfulness meditation through play.
(Sorry, watching TV does not count, you must be an active participant; however, for some, just having “down time“ is also extremely important)

See Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships  


for a better understand of some of the differences between men and women in how they deal with stress.

(These books could be sited in the "relationship" section as well as other sections; however, the listing is here because of some of the basic differences between how men and women relieve stress, which includes the way they approach meditation.

Effects of a mindfulness-based intervention during pregnancy on prenatal stress and mood: results of a pilot study
"Stress and negative mood during pregnancy increase risk for poor childbirth outcomes and postnatal mood problems and may interfere with mother–infant attachment and child development. However, relatively little research has focused on the efficacy of psychosocial interventions to reduce stress and negative mood during pregnancy. In this study, we developed and pilot tested an eight-week mindfulness-based intervention directed toward reducing stress and improving mood in pregnancy and early postpartum. We then conducted a small randomized trial (n = 31) comparing women who received the intervention during the last half of their pregnancy to a wait-list control group. Measures of perceived stress, positive and negative affect, depressed and anxious mood, and affect regulation were collected prior to, immediately following, and three months after the intervention (postpartum). Mothers who received the intervention showed significantly reduced anxiety (effect size, 0.89; p < 0.05) and negative affect (effect size, 0.83; p < 0.05) during the third trimester in comparison to those who did not receive the intervention. The brief and nonpharmaceutical nature of this intervention makes it a promising candidate for use during pregnancy. "

http://www.springerlink.com/content/u718t0802658447g/




Evaluation of a wellness-based mindfulness stress reduction intervention: A controlled trial.
Williams, Kimberly A.; Kolar, Maria M.; Reger, Bill E.; Pearson, John C.
American Journal of Health Promotion, Vol 15(6), Jul-Aug 2001, 422-432.
"Determined if participation in a Wellness-Based Mindfulness Stress Reduction intervention decreases the effect of daily hassles, psychological distress, and medical symptoms. The study used a randomized controlled trial of a stress reduction intervention with a 3-mo follow-up in a university setting in West Virginia. A total of 103 adults, with 59 in the intervention group and 44 in the control group participated. 85% percent of Ss completed the intervention. 59% percent and 61% of the intervention and control Ss completed the study, respectively. The intervention consisted of an 8-wk group stress reduction program in which Ss learned, practiced, and applied "mindfulness meditation" to daily life situations. The control group received educational materials and were encouraged to use community resources for stress management. The Daily Stress Inventory assessed the effect of daily hassles, the Revised Hopkins Symptom Checklist measured psychological distress, the Medical Symptom Checklist measured number of medical symptoms, and a Follow-up Questionnaire measured program adherence. Intervention Ss reported significant decreases from baseline in effect of hassles, psychological distress, and medical symptoms that were maintained at the 3-mo follow-up compared to control Ss. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)"
http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2001-07831-002


Mindfulness and Health Behaviors: Is Paying Attention Good for You?
"Conclusions: These results suggest that mindfulness is related to decreased stress, which in turn contributes to increased positive health perceptions and health behaviors. The findings support the utility of mindfulness in promoting physical and psychological health in college students."
http://heldref-publications.metapress.com/app/home/contribution.asp?referrer=parent&backto=issue,6,17;journal,1,81;linkingpublicationresults,1:119928,1


Mindfulness-based stress reduction for chronic pain conditions: Variation in treatment outcomes and role of home meditation practice
"Results: Outcomes differed in significance and magnitude across common chronic pain conditions. Diagnostic subgroups of patients with arthritis, back/neck pain, or two or more comorbid pain conditions demonstrated a significant change in pain intensity and functional limitations due to pain following MBSR. Participants with arthritis showed the largest treatment effects for HRQoL and psychological distress. Patients with chronic headache/migraine experienced the smallest improvement in pain and HRQoL. Patients with fibromyalgia had the smallest improvement in psychological distress. Greater home meditation practice was associated with improvement on several outcome measures, including overall psychological distress, somatization symptoms, and self-rated health, but not pain and other quality of life scales."
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022399909000944


Mindfulness-based stress reduction and health benefits: A meta-analysis
"Conclusion
Although derived from a relatively small number of studies, these results suggest that MBSR may help a broad range of individuals to cope with their clinical and nonclinical problems."
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022399903005737

7. Friends and Relationships:

7. Friends and Relationships: Help your children develop and maintain good friendships and lasting relationships. If you have to move, help them preserve old, and create new relationships.
For your child, there may be no relationship more important than their relationship with you and other family members. Spend time, listen, acknowledge, and help them understand their own emotions during these difficult times of struggles and/or stress. Develop deep, supportive (willing and able to provide support as well as careful, loving, and honest feedback when necessary) relationships for yourself. Continue to nourish these relationships over time and geographical distance if necessary. Yes, sometimes this means real work. Michael Yapko in his book: WHEN LIVING HURTS: Directives for Treating Depression (Brunner/Mazel, Publishers New York 1988) talks about the difference between working and making the sound of work with the final line in a story coming from a judge who says: ‘you have made the sound of work, now you have heard the sound of pay.’ This doesn’t just apply to this section; but to many if not all of the 15 principles. We often busy ourselves with activity, which deep down we know will not lead to productivity. Deep supporting long term relationships require work, forgiveness (or sometimes just being slow to judge), empathy, love, listening, sharing, and more work, no matter who the other person in the relationship might be.


Relationships, Stress, and Memory
Abstract:
“This chapter focuses on the connections between relationships, stress, and memory. Attachment theory offers a provocative framework for understanding these connections. The chapter discusses the influence of attachment relationships on children's memory for stressful events. It examines how parent-child conversation influences memory, especially for stressful events. Emotion regulation also connects relationships, memory, and stress, and a growing research literature in this field is considered. The chapter concludes with some ideas for the future directions of this field and its practical applications.”
http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/oso/3375839/2009/00000001/00000001/art00018

Advances in the conceptualization and measurement of religion and spirituality: Implications for physical and mental health research
Abstract
"This reprinted article originally appeared in American Psychologist, 2003, Vol 58[1], 64-74. (The following abstract of the original article appeared in record 2003-02034-006.)
Empirical studies have identified significant links between religion and spirituality and health. The reasons for these associations, however, are unclear. Typically, religion and spirituality have been measured by global indices (e.g., frequency of church attendance, self-rated religiousness and spirituality) that do not specify how or why religion and spirituality affect health. The authors highlight recent advances in the delineation of religion and spirituality concepts and measures theoretically and functionally connected to health. They also point to areas for growth in religion and spirituality conceptualization and measurement. Through measures of religion and spirituality more conceptually related to physical and mental health (e.g., closeness to God, religious orientation and motivation, religious support, religious struggle), psychologists are discovering more about the distinctive contributions of religiousness and spirituality to health and well-being. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)”
http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/rel/S/1/3/

The neuroscience of human relationships: Attachment and the developing social brain.  Cozolino, Louis Abstract
“As human beings, we cherish our individuality yet we know that we live in constant relationship to other people in the world and that these people play a part in regulating our emotional and social behavior. Although this interdependence is a constant reality of our existence, we are just beginning to understand that we have evolved as social creatures with interwoven brains and biologies. The human brain itself is a social organ and to truly understand human beings, we must understand not only how we as whole people exist with others, but how our brains themselves exist in relationship to other brains. In this exploration of the foundational theory of interpersonal neurobiology--that the brain is a social organ built through experience--Cozolino uses case examples from his years of clinical experience as well as numerous brain diagrams and illustrations to weave brain science, attachment, and emerging findings from social neuroscience into the story of our lives. In doing so, he provides a narrative of how our brains develop in the context of our relationships, how that development can become disordered, and how healing interactions can trigger changes in our brains, help them grow in positive ways, and, when the conditions are right, heal suffering. The Neuroscience of Human Relationships examines topics such as neural plasticity, mirror neurons, and the biology of attachment to address such important questions as: how do brains regulate one another during moment-to-moment interactions? How do parents, therapists, and educators activate and guide neuroplastic processes to foster learning and change? What are the effects of isolation, stress, and trauma on the social brain? What are the processes through which relationships both create and cure mental illness? Scientific literature and clinical case examples are interwoven to present a thorough discussion of disorders of the social brain including autism, social phobia, and borderline personality, as various breakdowns of social functioning are explored. The book concludes with a section focused on how relationships, both personal and professional, can heal the brain. We are just beginning to see the larger implications of these neurological processes--that is, how the architecture of the brain can help us to understand individuals and their relationships. After finishing this book, readers will have a deeper appreciation of how and why relationships have the power to reshape our brains throughout life. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2010 APA, all rights reserved)” 
http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2006-13260-000

Physiological regulation of stress in referred adolescents: the role of the parent–adolescent relationship
“Results: Adolescents with high levels of externalising problems and low levels of secure-base support showed weaker parasympathetic reactivity and recovery. Higher level of adolescent secure-base seeking was associated with stronger sympathetic reactivity and recovery.
Conclusions: Secure-base interactions between parents and adolescents facilitate physiological regulation of stress, especially for adolescents with externalising symptomatology.”
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1469-7610.2008.01982.x/full


Stress and Depression among Older Residents in Religious Monasteries: Do Friends and God Matter?Abstract:
The purpose of this investigation was to explore how friendship and attachment to God provide protective benefits against stress and depression. Participants included 235 men and women, age 64 and older, residing in religious monasteries affiliated with the Order of St. Benedict. Hierarchical multiple regression analyses were completed to assess main and moderating effects of friendship and attachment to God relative to the influence of stress on depressive symptomology. Lower degree of friendship closeness (β = -.12, p < .10) and greater insecurity with God (β = -.15, p < .01) were directly associated with greater depressive symptoms. A significant three-way interaction (Stress x Friendship x Attachment to God) also existed relative to depressive symptoms (β = .14, p < .05). Three "stress-buffering" mechanisms emerged relative to the influence of stress on depressive symptomology. First, a greater degree of friendship closeness in combination with less secure attachment to God represented a greater risk for depressive symptoms. Second, greater friendship closeness in combination with greater secure attachment to God reduced the risk for depressive symptoms. Third, lower degree of friendship closeness combined with less secure attachment to God diminished the noxious effects of stress on depressive symptoms. This has implications relative to how social and spiritual resources can be used to reduce stress and improve quality of life for older adults residing in religious communities. “
http://baywood.metapress.com/app/home/contribution.asp?referrer=parent&backto=issue,1,4;journal,25,289;linkingpublicationresults,1:300312,1


Stress Less: Your Guide to Managing Stress By Heather E. Schwartz
http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=wFhktpUPjDcC&oi=fnd&pg=PP6&dq=friends+stress&ots=2Aq3yb41LQ&sig=FBIcT8oONiOd5SpFIbKyQKLJqPE#v=onepage&q=friends%20stress&f=false


Does social support from family and friends work as a buffer against reactions to stressful life events such as terminal cancer?
“Abstract: Results
Significance of the results: The mixed findings may indicate that social support has only small effects on emotional functioning and stress reactions. Our results on the second assessment indicate, however, that social support might work as a buffer against reactions toward external stressful events such as terminal cancer.”
: Although our hypothesis was not supported at the baseline assessment, it was supported at the second assessment, 2 months later. Patients with high social support reported better emotional functioning and less serious stress reactions, in terms of lower scores on the IES avoidance subscale, than patients with a low degree of social support.

http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&aid=799364

The Importance of Friends: Friendship and Adjustment Among 1st-Year University Students
Abstract:
“In a study of new friendships and adjustment among 1st-year university students, students at six Canadian universities completed questionnaires that assessed the quality of new friendships and adjustment during their first academic year. In-depth, face-to-face interviews about students' new friendships were conducted with a subsample of these students. Results indicated a significant positive relation between quality of new friendships and adjustment to university; this association was stronger for students living in residence than for those commuting to university. The interview data provided insight into the processes through which the relation between quality of new friendships and adjustment occurs. Results are discussed in terms of the importance of new friendships in helping individuals to adjust to a new social environment.”
http://jar.sagepub.com/content/22/6/665.short

6. Physiological: Physiological changes into and out of stress.

6. Physiological: Significant stress almost always causes a physical change. Often, we must do something physical to relieve the stress we feel. Aerobic exercise such as; walking, swimming, and running can help. Slow deep breathing can also help break physical cycles of stress. One way to help young children (and you) learn deep breathing and have fun at the same time is through a large bubble blowing contest. You have to breathe deeply and blow very slowly to create a big bubble. This works best when you use a bubble wand with a one to two inch diameter hole.


Slow, deep, relaxed breathing can even help others, in close proximity to you, to relax . Many years ago, a women who had been attending one of my courses, was attacked by an ex who intended to do her significant harm. He had a tight hold on her and she could barely move. Instead of struggling, she began breathing calmly, slowly, and deeply. He could easily feel her breathing with his body. Before very long, his breathing also changed and he relaxed and let her go. This does not mean that this will work every time, or even most of the time; but it does demonstrate how our breathing CAN affect someone else. Furthermore, our state of relaxation can have an affect on others. One technique for dealing with someone in a crisis is to change out with someone else. Stress and anxiety, can be catching and it is often good to have someone else step in after a while, someone who has not them self, become stressed. The second person can have a calming affect and be more objective in dealing with the situation. That does not mean that the first person was doing anything wrong; but as they also become stressed, loosing blood flow to the brain (a common occurrence when we become stressed) they tend to loose objectivity and creativity in helping/supporting the person in crisis.

Physical health derived from good eating, drinking, and sleeping habits,  (see also D & C 88: 124) also promote peace in times of stress.

Periodic fasting and taking a day of rest every week, on the Sabath if possible, are also important for well being, relaxation, and peace.


The effect of acute aerobic exercise on stress related blood pressure responses: A systematic review and meta-analysis
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0301051105000827

State anxiety, psychological stress and positive well-being responses to yoga and aerobic exercise in people with schizophrenia: a pilot study
http://informahealthcare.com/doi/abs/10.3109/09638288.2010.509458

Physical activity, exercise, depression and anxiety disorders

http://www.springerlink.com/content/70ww62p57h007986/

Effect of aerobic exercise on test anxiety http://gradworks.umi.com/32/78/3278538.html

A Pilot Study of the Effects of High-Intensity Aerobic Exercise Versus Passive Interventions on Pain, Disability, Psychological Strain, and Serum Cortisol Concentrations in People With Chronic Low Back Pain http://physther.org/content/87/3/304.short

Improves Cognitive Responses to Psychological Stress through Enhancement of Epigenetic Mechanisms and Gene Expression in the Dentate Gyrus
http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0004330

Adaptation to stress and psychobiological mechanisms of resilience
http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=jslncD9_GNkC&oi=fnd&pg=PA91&dq=aerobic+exercise+psychological+stress+human&ots=JpSyxn_aNI&sig=aGtQSZbIv4ruD_3-YzS-NZKkQxQ#v=onepage&q=aerobic%20exercise%20psychological%20stress%20human&f=false
Exercising your brain: A review of human brain plasticity and training-induced learning.http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/pag/23/4/692/



Effects of Aerobic Exercise on Mild Cognitive Impairment
http://archneur.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/abstract/67/1/71

Move More, Stress Less!

"Regular exercise offers our minds and bodies a welcome release from the pressures of everyday life."
read the article: http://lds.org/ensign/2004/08/move-more-stress-less?lang=eng&query=stress+prayer

  As we become more and more stressed the physiology of our bodies change.  There are numerous signs that this change has or is occurring.  Some of the possible signs are: sweaty hands, cold hands, ringing in the ears, dry mouth and sometimes a resulting clicking sound, increasingly rapid movement and speech, less coherent speech, higher pitch in speech, louder speech, anger, withdrawal, muscle tension, and quick short breathing.  When we become stressed, our body reduces the amount of blood it sends to the brain and sends more to the large muscle groups in our extremities.  This is an adaptive change called Fight or Flight  and helps us to run away or fight off an assailant or wild animal if needed.  It is less adaptive in the work setting as less blood in the brain equates to a diminished ability to learn, think. and speak coherently. 

See also: Sleep Hygine

5. Have fun and enjoy good humor:

5. Have fun and enjoy good humor: There are two types of humor, the kind that divides and belittles and the kind that unites. Always encourage the kind that brings your family and others closer to each other and to God. Always discourage the kind that puts downs or disparages other races, religions, nationalities, groups, or individuals. Good, fun, safe, humor releases stress. Laughter really is a great medicine. It can be both a physical and mental stress reducer. While some of the research on the connection between laughter and stress is inconclusive, there is good research to support the positive general correlation between humor, laughter, fun, and stress.

Humor, stress, and coping strategies
http://www.reference-global.com/doi/abs/10.1515/humr.15.4.365


Humor attenuates the cortisol awakening response in healthy older men
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0301051110000840

Humor and laughter may influence health IV. humor and immune function
http://downloads.hindawi.com/journals/ecam/2009/143853.pdf

The Need for Balance in Our Lives
http://lds.org/ensign/2000/03/the-need-for-balance-in-our-lives?lang=eng&query=humor+stress

When Life Is Getting You Down
http://lds.org/ensign/1984/06/when-life-is-getting-you-down?lang=eng&query=humor+stress

The Stress Management and Health Benefits of Laughter

http://stress.about.com/od/stresshealth/a/laughter.htm

4. Self-Efficacy and Resiliency

4. Self-Efficacy: Self Efficacy is the belief you have the power or ability to do, accomplish, or overcome something. It is very different from self-esteem; (please see: Self-Efficacy (Is Self-Esteem Overrated?)  http://responsiblepracticalparenting.blogspot.com/2010/08/self-efficacy-is-self-esteem-overrated.html)
however, usually leads to better self esteem. Help your children develop skills and talents appropriate to their interests and abilities. There are many amazing resources to help children build self-efficacy: sports programs, 4=H, crafts, scouting, young women’s achievement, books, etc. Help your children set and achieve goals. Remember the four key elements of: a. writing the goal, b. writing the reasonable and achievable steps, c. reporting on progress, and d. celebrating success.

It is the same for adults. It is never too late to begin building self-efficacy through similar skill and talent building activities to include hobbies, work, and service for others. If you are unemployed and have the time, volunteer.

To add more power behind the stress reduction available through self-efficacy, be sure there is a measure of WHY. While I’m not a great fan of Nietzsche, there are a few quotations from him which I like and with which I agree. One is: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/f/friedrich_nietzsche_3.html

To learn more about self-efficacy see:
Self-Efficacy: Bandura:
http://des.emory.edu/mfp/BanEncy.html

There is significant research on the relationship between self-efficacy and stress, so much that if you want to learn even more, simply go to the google scholar search engine at: http://scholar.google.com/, type in the words “self-efficacy stress) and find almost more than you could hope to read.


Additional reading:
The case for positive emotions in the stress process
“Evidence has accumulated regarding the co-occurrence of positive and negative emotions during stressful periods; the restorative function of positive emotions with respect to physiological, psychological, and social coping resources; and the kinds of coping processes that generate positive emotions including benefit finding and reminding, adaptive goal processes, reordering priorities, and infusing ordinary events with positive meaning. Overall, the evidence supports the propositions set forth in the revised model. Contrary to earlier tendencies to dismiss positive emotions, the evidence indicates they have important functions in the stress process and are related to coping processes that are distinct from those that regulate distress. Including positive emotions in future studies will help address an imbalance between research and clinical practice due to decades of nearly exclusive concern with the negative emotions.”
http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10615800701740457

Family Resiliency
http://www.extension.iastate.edu/publications/edc53.pdf

3. Boundaries and Expectations:

3. Boundaries and Expectations: One of the fundamental sources of stress is inappropriate (both too high and too low) expectations for yourself and others. The Lord has given us amazing resources to help, including sounding boards for what an appropriate expectation might be for ourselves and our children. We have visiting and home teachers, quorum leaders and bishops, scriptures, conference talks, and we have prayer. We have a good understanding of developmental milestones for children and what the range of appropriate expectations might be :see ENCYCLOPEDIA OF PARENTING http://responsiblepracticalparenting.blogspot.com/   (You can also find additional information about boundaries and expectations at the same site.)

For some, boundaries are a representation of restraint and confinement; however, they are also a safety and protection for us. For example: a fence keeping us away from danger or even a suit used by astronauts during a space walk. While the suit may seem confining, it is also life saving. While this may seem so incredibly obvious that no one would even consider a space walk without the appropriate suit and protection, there are equally important (but not always as immediately obvious) boundaries here on earth which are, all too often ignored, e.g. drugs, alcohol, premarital and extramarital sex. All of the commandments represent boundaries which both protect us and increase our capacity and potential. Using the analogy of space flight again, there are many boundaries and expectations for astronauts and their equipment to include choices about education, eating, and physical exercise. Some may seem confining; but ultimately they can have the opposite effect, allowing the astronaut to escape the earth for a period of time and return safely. It is the same for more typical and appropriate boundaries and expectations faced by children and adults, while they may seem more confining, in reality they expand possibilities within a framework of greater safety and peace.

As noted elsewhere on this site, increase resilience and self-efficacy; but also, do not “run faster than ye are able” and do not require it of your children. Be self-reliant; but also humble and meek enough to ask for help when needed.See also: Identity and the role of expectations, stress, and talk in short-term student sojourner adjustment: An application of the integrative theory of communication and cross-cultural adaptation. “Expectation gaps are one contributor to adjustment stress.” http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0147176709000790
and
Occupational Stress And Turnover Issues In Public Accounting: The Mediating Effects Of Locus Of Control, Social Support, And Employment Expectations.
http://journals.cluteonline.com/index.php/IBER/article/view/3979 for just two examples.


Remember that reasonable expectations are a moving target with increasingly extended and expanding expectations becoming reasonable as the individual grows and matures.